Mahal Kita ?

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

I know for a fact that I have never been "in love". When Mr. Thompson first said to write about our first love, I was confused for a moment. I'm not gonna lie, I have no clue what "love" really means so I didn't know what I was going to write about. I mean, yeah I have liked a lot of people but it has never gotten to the point where i've loved them or fallen in love with them. That's a little much for me. I'm sure by the end you'll all know who I'm talking about, but to be honest, this person has made a huge impact on my life and I'm very lucky to have him in my life still.

It all started about a year ago on the first day of freshman year. I didn't know that many people at Gunderson, but of course, I had my best friend with me. For the first couple weeks of school, I met a bunch of people as well as this one girl I met that went to the same middle school as me. I'm going to call her V. We started talking and before we knew it we were really close. At the time, she was best friends with a guy that went to Gunderson too. She introduced me to him and we just said "hey". Nothing special. At first, I didn't think much of him when I met him. He was just another guy I met at school. The next couple of days, I noticed that he was in three of my classes, and sat next to me in one of them. After a while, even though I only talked to him once I actually started to like him. The thing is, I never told anyone, not even my best friend because I didn't think he noticed me and I "knew" he didn't like me.

One day during lunch, V came up to me and told me that this best friend of hers liked someone. My friend Jasmine and I were joking around saying that he liked Jasmine and Jasmine was saying he liked me. All I said was, "What?! Why would he like me? I've only said hi to him like, ONCE!?". It was really weird because at first, I was making jokes about him liking my friend and now that I knew he liked someone, I was kind of hoping it was me. I remember it was in P.E and I was bugging him about who he liked and he wouldn't tell me. The next day, V told me that he liked me. He actually liked me. When she first told me, I didn't believe it. I thought she was kidding or something. I don't even remember what I was feeling at the time. I was shocked and confused, yet really happy at the same time. Somehow, he got my number, and texted me one day and I remember having a huge smile on my face when I got the text. I have no clue how he got my number but I always called him a stalker because of that. Whenever he would text me I would get butterflies in my stomach and I couldn't stop smiling. I was constantly thinking about him. Everyday I talked to him, I started to like him more and more.

Before I knew it, it was like sometime around homecoming and I remember it taking him forever to ask me to go with him. Long story short, at the dance, he asked me out and in like 5 minutes, pretty much everyone knew. It took him so long to ask me and a whole bunch of his friends that I didn't even know were telling him to ask me and he still took forever. I never thought that was going to happen. At first I didn't think he even noticed me and then he asks me out? I just remember being really, really happy. We went out for a short period of time, but then after a while, I realized that I didn't like him as much as I thought I did. I guess that was the main reason why I ended up breaking up with him. I felt really bad about the whole thing but I didn't know what else to do because I knew he still kind of liked me. After all of that happened, we pretty much stopped talking and it was always just awkward between us. As Freshman year went on, we would talk a little bit, but not as much as we did before. We kind of grew apart after a while and I knew I wasn't going to ever like him again and he was just going to be another guy at school like before.

Sophomore Year. I thought wrong. Way wrong. Who thought I was going to like him again?! I've never really talked about this to anyone, but I guess it was weird seeing him with another girl. I guess you could say I was somewhat jealous, but I didn't think I was actually starting to like him again. Then he asked her out and I was happy for both of them, so I didn't want either of them to find out that I was starting to like him again. I didn't want to ruin anything because they liked each other and they were my friends so I kept everything to myself and my close friends. I was texting my friend Tiffany about it and in french, he took my phone and I didn't think he did anything or read anything. I got my phone back and then it hit me. I had all of the texts still in my phone and he could've read them. After school that day, I got a text from his friend saying that he read them and that he knows everything. I was pretty much freaking out at the time, I had no clue what he thought of what he read. I didn't know if he felt the same way either. I talked to some friends about it, and they said that he still liked me but I didn't get my hopes up because I knew he liked my friend too. I started to back off because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. In the end he ended up "picking" me. Same exact day as freshman year, he asked me out again. I was definitely happy again. Pretty much the same thing happened as freshman year and we ended up being "just friends". I guess this time was a lot different though, if that makes sense. This time we became really close and he became one of my best friends. After we broke up, he still really liked me, and i'm not gonna lie, I still liked him too but for some reason, the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing wasn't working out for me.

To be honest, I don't think feelings for someone EVER go away. A little part of me is always going to like him. So what? I haven't been in love, but I do love this kid. He's not what I would call my "first love" but he's one of the first people i've really fallen for. He's always there for me, he's amazing, he's my best guy friend. We have been through so much, we've had our ups and our downs, he's always going to be my best friend, no matter what. He has done so much for me and he has definitely changed my life. <3